Location
Where you live has never become so important over the last few months with the changes in our life. The good weather makes you appreciate your location even more. Like you would on holiday, you can take yourself and all off to the beach and get there in about 2 minutes. With a babba on a trike, an old man like me pushing it in flip-flops with the Mrs in tow making sure her massive sunglasses don't slip off. It's a sight to see, the locals can look like tourists.
Vocation
Some people have seized the moment well. What with the rising attraction of beach life and street food, Riley's Fish Shack have brought the two together. He basically sets up at King Edward's Bay and cooks local fish on his large BBQ. We tried a salmon wrap, it was delicious. We ate it while we watched a Karate group practise on the beach. Now you don't see that often.
Vacation
So all of this good weather and our location have made it feel like we are on holiday. The sun shines, the sea is clear and green, the temperature rises, drinks in the village or city (see that lush lass in the photo). Sometimes you even get the smell of bins and a fat Geordie with a tattoo spelt backwards. Like on holiday, you learn to hold your nose or turn your head and just get on with stuffing your face with chips, ice-creams and wraps and then realise that you are also a fat Geordie on holiday.
As a child I remember being on holiday in France. Fourteen of us travelled there in a mini-bus driven alternatively by the father's of three family's from the neighbourhood. That's in the days of proper neighbourhood community and no air-conditioning; kid's today don't know they're born. Anyway, the point of telling you this is that it reminded me of lots of BBQ's while we stayed in the caravan/tent. Trying to catch lizards and put them on the BBQ but not achieving it because they shed their tails when you stamp on them. However, after becoming bored of blowing up ant nests with little bangers (you could buy these!), we moved onto catching beetles and cockroaches and roasting them on the BBQ. Cockroaches stink by the way.
Now that our own summer has arrived here and all those fond memories sweep through my mind, we have our own version of BBQ's and Beetles. How wonderful it is to do everything alfresco (careful). The smell and sound of sizzling food. The urge to pop a few beetles on there to see what they smell like when hot. If you want a change from burgers and sausage, get some monkfish, marinade it with chillies, garlic, limes and coriander and slide it onto some skewers while you look at the camera pouting your lips. It's an absolute treat; the food, not the camera shot.
OK so I've mentioned beetles a few times and you can't see the relevance. The Tynemouth Classic VW Rally is in its 3rd year now. Blessed by the great weather again, we went along to view the shiny camper vans and beetles. So many colours, styles and interior space saving genius. We all want one, you see a lot living on the coast but don't get sick of them until you get stuck behind a slow one. They ended the rally by driving in convoy along the coast. On the day of the Sunderland Air Show, I expected the red arrows to fly over just at that point and maybe create a VW shape in the sky. They missed an opportunity but to be fair they probably flew over the Newcastle race course where it was also Ladies Day. Pervert Pilots.
It's been a while since visiting the Greek island of Rhodes, so with a week to go we booked it, packed it.....off. We headed to the town of Afantou which apparently means invisible, however it was clearly there, on the map AND in real life. The view from our balcony over the sea, it's long pebbled beaches and the winding mountains proved it all existed.
We did a good job of ignoring the bingo night, useless reps and desperate couples who've got no conversation themselves and look for you to hook up with. Instead, we went into the small town to seek out real Greek food. We found it in every restaurant we visited too. We also discovered a gem which was half-Greek-half-English (a bit like Prince Philip), called Sergios. They specialise in home-made pasta and pizza though, not traditional Greek but they did a very good job of putting a smile on our faces as we stuffed it with dough balls, pizza, pasta and Greek wine.
So after a great relaxing holiday, the going home saga began. At 2:30AM, we were picked up by the bus, taken to the airport and told "as you know there is a 7 hour delay". We didn't know, but we knew now. Thanks Thomas Cook, you are very informative. It ended up being a much longer delay in the airport with a 12 euro voucher to buy an old looking sandwich from the war. We were eventually flown home on an antique rented french plane where the only way on and off was from stairs at the back of the plane (recently featured on Channel 4's Plane Crash). The arm rests were stuck on with gaffer tape, not sure what the wings were stuck on with.
We've never been to the Fringe in Edinburgh and keep meaning to go along. The closest we have got is to see some comedians as they perfect their acts for the show. The NewcastleGateshead Comedy Festival allows them do do this and at the Live Theatre we laughed quite a lot seeing Jo Caulfield and Anvil Springsteen.
Jo has been on Mock The Week and other comedy panel shows. I was surprised how good she was, picking up on men's daft habits and inability to work out what is wrong with their other half. This will always remain a mystery to men, so best just leave us to watch the TV with no other thoughts going on in our minds.
Anvil was a lot more different, he threw his prep notes away at the beginning and just got on with the job. His dark humour was often very funny but was sometimes skirting around for laughs but got them. His opinions on young people were spot on and he targeted an 18 year old in the audience to confirm if those 'uncontrolled urges' still go on. They do by the way and surely it's not just when you are younger. What got a lot of laughter involved the sister-in-law as we were there in a group. Anvil was reminiscing and asked if we could all remember Marvel in a tin. He then asked the sis-in-law if she could remember and replied "You mean comics used to be in a tin?". Now that was funny, but the innocence of it all made it funnier again. We chatted to Anvil Springsteen later in the bar, he lives in Newcastle, but is a scouser, so he wasn't 'Born in the USA'. I didn't do that joke but felt like he wanted me to.
All in all, I was pretty well entertained with minimal effort, a bit like watching TV when the Mrs isn't there (see above). We got lush food at The Broad Chare and drink from a few other bars, so let it all happen again soon and we will be content.
Nice to see that NewcastleGateshead are still making an effort with their EAT Food Festival. This year we decided to go to the Launch Party to see what it was all about. It was fairly mediocre really, a free drink or two, free food cooked by the local Masterchef Pro finalists and an over excited orange Geordie compare. The BBQ wasn't working properly and I wasn't convinced my pork sausage was cooked so I left for the dogs of Newcastle. Not what you expect at the start of a food festival. However, a few cocktails, a good band and liquorice ice cream later it was time to go and take a piece of the huge cake left for the party go-ers.
The highlight for me was the following day. We got to cook with Terry Laybourne, the local chef and entrepreneur. He was a canny bloke, down to earth. We cooked cheese & spinach souffle in the middle of Fenwick store. I enjoyed seeing old ladies with puzzled faces as I whisked my egg whites, wearing a pinny, sticking my tongue out. We got to eat the souffle, served with cream, light and fluffy, just like my feet.
I almost forgot to blog what was my birthday treat a few weeks ago. It was a surprise, a tradition for birthdays in the household. We went for a weekend, not too far away, to Eshott Hall in Northumberland. A pretty romantic place if you fancy taking your woman, man or mother-in-law there. It's recently been refurbished, is an amazing place with a pretty impressive hallway and bedrooms. The food as always was another reason for our stay there and it was pretty lush, we ate there both nights. The chef showed off a few times with an Irn-Bru sorbet palette cleanser, and some fantastic meat and game dish
es.
We managed to visit Warkwarth Castle, brave the strong winds on their beach and take a look around Alnwick. There were lots of people on the streets and shops talking about the Royals coming to Alnwick that day. I thought they were talking about Ricky Tomlinson and Caroline Ahern but it turns out that Kate thingyboby who Prince William is marrying has a sister who was getting married there that day. Yawn.
Back at the hall, was such a good choice by the girlfriend, hope she gets it right next year too. No pressure.
Every year for Valentine I like to push my love boat out
. While that might shock you, it's getting bigger each year. What am I talking about? My surprise 3 course dinner of course. This year the menu was called 'Remembering Oz'. It was influenced from things popular over there and the food we tried.
You may say Valentine would be the worse time to have crabs. Not in our house. Local crabs from our fish market, ripped apart with my hands and that hammer I keep in my handbag. I pulled my meat out and made them into Vietnamese style crab cakes and served it with mango, lime and avocado salad.
After this delight, the main course involved another favourite food phrase of mine. The lamb shank. Never have a lamb shank on your own, give one to the Mrs. That's what I did. Actually I slow cooked them in a madras sauce and served them with an Ethiopian flatbread, topped with crispy shallots. Pretty god damn
delicious if you ask me or her.
Now the fun part. Pudding. It was based on nuts. I chopped my nuts carefully, and put them into a chocolate tart, homemade pastry of course. They were macadamia nuts, they love them in Oz. I decided to accompany it with a homemade lemon and lime bitters sorbet. Lemon & Lime bitters is a popular refreshing drink over there and my Valentine's face lit up when she tasted it. I think she was in shock though, too many entendres is enough for one night.
Wagyu might sound like a term to describe you've bagged a footballers wife but it's infact a breed of cattle fed on beer. Very informative Ian you might say now get lost, but the reason I mention this is it's not often seen on a menu in the North East. Normally you'd pay hundreds of pounds to have a wagyu filltet of beef but The Silk Room in Newcastle does a Wagyu burger for £19. It's worth a try, I had one, the flavour was delicious and the beef just melted and broke away in my mouth. Even better though, it's not shipped in from its native Japan as there's a farmer in Northumberland, Otterburn supplying and specialising in this now. I think the burger I had was a lot better than the one I won the competition with last year but mine costs about 80 pence to make.
Imagine being drunk all the time. As well as loving everyone like family you might get to see the world like Roobarb and Custard did or their makers in the brilliant cartoon show from the 70's. What genius dreamt this up I often wonder? Get a few splodges of paint on some paper which just about resemble some characters, sink a few beers and try and hold the paper up in front of the camera to somehow make a story. It just wouldn't wash these days unless 
you had an over sized bag of popcorn, a pair of ridiculous 3D glasses that make you look like Elton John crossed with Reg Holdsworth and a Channel 4 breakdown about the program you've been watching after every advert.
I ramble on like this as I got hold of some home-grown rhubarb which I intend to cook with of course. and it always reminds me of the cartoon. Looking at it, there are so many things it could be used for but I opted for an alien hand gesture followed by another. Like Roobarb, I also like to annoy my neighbours with a polite message on the window sill.
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I don't think the North East is quite ready for a food festival just yet. It's the second year of the EAT Festival and we visited the various events in Newcastle at the weekend. It included food stalls with various over priced items, a dedicated row of stalls selling the food-of-the-moment-cup-cakes, some possessed woman on stilts pushing a hostess trolley and a man in a tomato outfit laughing at her. The most bizarre event was the one where fresh fish is delivered by boat onto the quayside, seeing them fillet it and the local chef's take it away and cook it. We actually found out that the fish is delivered by van and then carried in fish boxes by hand. I can't even be bothered to do any fish jokes, but I wasn't a happy sole.
Despite the let-downs, we still enjoyed the festival which is running for a number of weeks now. The best bit was seeing the sheer panic and sickened look from the men who tried some of the hottest chilli paste at the Chilli and Beer Festival.
It has to be said that Cambridge is a beautiful city, you can walk around and admire it or go on a punt on the river to see more, sing Cornetto songs and tickle the fella who does the punting. We were there at the weekend but didn't get to go on a punt or tickle anyone apart from each other as the weather on the day was a bit inclement. It meant that in between a bit of shopping and sight seeing we were forced into a couple of real pubs, with real ale, real food and the odd left over student. The Chop House was one where I had a great tasting Stone Bass (nothing to do with Bill Wyman but is actually a fish). That gorgeous girl I took along had slow cooked beef cheeks in an ale gravy. Yes that's beef cheeks, the cheek of the cow... It's all about the ale here, I washed my fish down with a canny ale called Pegasus.
More food again later for dinner at the local village pub, The Plough, but I won't bore you with what I had. We managed to sit outside for drinks in the rain, heaters on and canopies up. Only the British would do that. A good walk the following day we spotted the biggest thatch 'cottage' we've ever seen. Some people must have nothing better to do but show off with a fantastic over sized house.
We came home in style with an American Bomber. Now that doesn't mean I had some weird cocktail or curry the night before but there was a memorial day at the American Cemetery nearby and it flew over along with some jets. I'm sure the pilot dipped his wings to say goodbye to me...
So, did you lovers out there treat your women good at the love weekend? Like they say to kids, "Everyday is Christmas for kids". It's the same in my house, the girlfriend might be younger than me but I don't say that to her, but I do say, "Everyday is like Valentine's Day". It still didn't stop me pushing the love boat out (euphemism not intended) with a Saturday night special menu presented to her on the day and prepared and cooked by yours truly.
Keeping it local, we had home-made craster kipper pate with herbed toast. To add to our kipper breath, for mains, it was fillet of beef on a crouton topped with a portobello mushroom and marsala sauce, sauted pototoes and creamed spinach. Both a mouthful to say and eat, but it went down pretty well. Now to make sure you get full brownie points, give the girl a homemade Lindt and almond chocolate fondant and top it with homemade honey ice-cream. You know you've got the fondant right when it oozes gooey chocolate when you delve into it. This picture proves the moment, although it does look a little like something left on the beach on a Sunday morning....
Forget flowers, forget chocolates, deliver these goods. She was wowed, star struck I reckon but well deserved. Happy Valentine to my beautiful girlfriend and to you and all who sail in you.
The man night out is of course always a special one. Over the years at Christmas it has turned into a much more civilised event where we dress like a clapped out version of Take That and go for a posh curry. That said we did have a great night at Spiced Cube in Newcastle. The food could've been better but we still made it a good night out with plenty of old stories and constant micky takes (one including the fact that I blog things like this!) Mark who is pictured here was the only one to opt for a dessert which didn't surprise me as his face lit up when he heard the word chocolate fudge cake. He ate the lot and got none on his Mark Owen shirt or his Christmas-bauble-like-head. Like a child he couldn't drink his Cobra but could manage a great fat pudding. Merry Xmas to you all and those millions of blog readers, enjoy the festivities.
Sometimes, a man just can't resist walking past a german food stall and admiring the size of the sausage. I admired it so much, I just had to have a Super Bratwurst sausage from the Christmas Market in Manchester. They are rather long and stick out of the small buns they put them in. Mine managed to find its way out of the bun and onto my jacket during eating, much to the surprise of those around me. It felt like my fly was open.
I'm such a good son, we took my mother along to see a production at The Live Theatre at the weekend. I must say I really enjoyed it. It was called Jump! and was set in the North East at New Years Eve. It had 3 separate stories, gangsters, suicide and girls drinking. Typical of the North East I reckon, but there was not one mention of Greggs pasties. The acting was great, the story brilliant, the dialog funny and dark and the wine I had was very nice too. Like a Tarantino film, the stories came together right at the end although you could see it coming. It was a really different night out, it touched parts of me I thought only Carlsberg or the girlfriend could. I got someone to take a photo of us at the show - that's me in the middle ;)
I was feeling a bit heavier while watching the play after a top notch meal again from Cafe Vivo. I decided to have real buffalo mozzarella for starters - proper creamy stuff, I could've jumped in it naked. I followed that with beautiful melting Veal, the once controversial meat. I was then forced into eating a chocolate and hazelnut tart. The waiter kindly added a free try of the home-made choc chip ice-cream. Wooo, when I write that down, why I am I not a fat get? No comments please.
The burger recipe competition closes in a few days and I'm still in the lead by 4%, there were thousands of entries. If you haven't voted (many thanks if you have), forget the veggie burger in 2nd place and vote for me. Whose heard of a burger without meat anyway? I'm sure it's only in there for diversity reasons. I'm surprised the blue cheese burger was allowed in without having other burgers representing the spectrum of colours. The winner gets £500 worth of shopping so tins and crisps for family Xmas presents this year. GO VOTE FOR ME NOW, TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TELL THE WORLD
Exciting burger times. My sundried tomato and pine nut burger has made the last 5 in a competition. So if you are reading this and would like to vote, please click here and select the 'Vote for this twist' button for Ian's sundried tomato and pine nut burger. Thanks for voting, will blog the results.
Hey I've got one of my burgers on the Sainsbury's web site. I could win a prize. Take a look, it might still be there. I could talk all day about burgers. I've made a few different ones in my time and love to get the BBQ out, along with the pinny and tools that make you feel manly. The one I submitted is made with sun-dried tomatoes and pine nuts, so go and get your hands in that bowl and mould a few shapes. That means you Andy...
Some people have seized the moment well. What with the rising attraction of beach life and street food, Riley's Fish Shack have brought the two together. He basically sets up at King Edward's Bay and cooks local fish on his large BBQ. We tried a salmon wrap, it was delicious. We ate it while we watched a Karate group practise on the beach. Now you don't see that often.
