A weekend of weather, conversations about the weather, media reporting the weather and experiencing the weather. For all those overseas readers who don't know or don't care, there has been an onslaught of snow, ice, thunder, lightning, hail stone, wind, and severe cold. I've seen cars facing the wrong way on motorways, traffic going nowhere, snowboarders on the coast and a fox walking through the streets. Yes an urban fox we also hear more about in the media, maybe on its way to take a chunk out of the cheek of a sleeping baby. Some foxes like the one on the right can't be bothered to use stairs so they take an escalator. Earlier it was seen with its legs crossed reading a novel upside down on the underground tube.
So, do you know what is unique about the title of this blog? It contains all 26 letters of the alphabet. A pangram.
The peoples' champion. Loved by all. Funny. Down to earth. Rotund. A master of his game. No it's not Colin, it's Peter Kay. We went to see him at the over sized Metro Arena venue for Tour That Doesn't Tour - Tour. I want to tell you all about it but don't want to spoil it. There's all new material and it's Peter at his best where he talks about normal everyday things we all relate to from dentists to technology like Sky+. He drops in a few of his old catchphrases just to remind you that bread is not just bread and cake can be made of cheese.
It's well worth waiting for the encore because it's absolutely inspired, bringing together jokes from the show and pure visual, musical genius he does so well. So this definitely proves the notion that a lot of fat people can be funny and not just to look at while they try and reach their other hand while clapping. Some of them at the show however could not stand up when it came to the long rapturous standing ovation for Peter.
I'm from that seaside town of South Shields. Not only does it have beautiful coastline, beaches and a small version of the Curry Mile but it also makes stars. Apart from myself, we recently added Joe McElderry to that list, the gay X-Factor winner. Not only that but even more recent was another Masterchef finalist who worked at the Littlehaven hotel right on the coast overlooking the piers. I say another Masterchef finalist because we already have one from 3 years ago who I know. It's David Hall.
Not many people know this but apart from Ridley Scott (the extremely famous and successful movie director), Sir Frank Williams (Formula 1 Manager), Catherine Cookson and the rising new comedienne I predicted would go far, Sarah Milican; South Shields is also the birthplace for Eric Idle. Yep, the funny all round entertainer made famous from Monty Python, Life of Brian. So if you come from South Shields, always look on the bright side of life and just wait for Simon Cowell or Michel Roux to say yes. Reality TV may bring more Sandancer stars...
Speaking of Masterchef, take a look at this funny take on the recent finalists.
It was so good to see that the stag from the Ibiza stag 'do' turned up for his own wedding the other weekend along at Longhirst Hall. What a great venue Liz and Alex chose for their wedding day and what a brilliant day it ended up being. Daft sweets on every table, a ninja photographer, a nervous usher, garter flashes. Loved the Lemonheads playing 'Mrs Robinson' now that Liz is an official Robinson, the song was in my head all day anyway so it topped it off as the whole wedding party surrounded them on the dance floor. Before that they snogged the face off each other while we all stuck our 2 fingers up ;)
They'll just be back from a fancy honeymoon Australia-New Zealand-Fiji. Bet they're tanned, tired and skint but have lived the dream. Congratulations, keep the marriage real.
Ah, the smell of Ralgex. The costumes that pass you. The oggy chant. The 10 mile ache. The man on top of the bus stop with his hose. The outrageous rock band playing on a roundabout. The hoards and hoards of supporting people. The strange, compelling and captivating desire. That's the desire to complete the Great North Run 2010. It's pretty tough for an old man like me whose legs now feel like Michelle Mcmanus has sat on each one and lifted her own chubby legs off the ground. You can't help not enjoy it though despite the anguished pain (the run that is not the rolly-polly-on-top-of-legs-lady). I managed a leisurely time of 2:20 this year in the 30th run. Myself and my brother Lee raised money for Cancer Research, his time was 1:59, he was always the better runner, I got the looks though. So far we've raised £558.
Along the way I shook hands with our local lad, Ant from 'Ant & Dec', passed a man carrying a fridge on his back, a man running in cowboy boots, a fireman with an oxygen tank, a Flintstones car, running bananas and many other crazy runners. Oh and a few fellas running in Speedos. Why can't it be women doing this? That way I might've knocked 10 minutes off my time.
We were lucky to have VIP passes so we got to mix with the 'stars' afterwards. David James, Ray Stubbs, Scott Mills, Molly and Graham from Corras and more. They all insisted on talking to me of course but I had no time for them as I had a pint and a homemade cottage pie to get down my neck. It was great to see the girlfriend at the end of the race too. She came running over to me, bless her. That was her run...(2011). X
If you live in the North East, you need to run this race. It's not really about the race, it's just a one-off, emotional and uplifting experience. Your legs will finally recover but your memory of the run and all its surroundings will last forever...
Stag and hen 
parties are much more varied now. Sometimes even the stag doesn't turn up. This happened on the one I've just been to in Ibiza. He turned up for the flight but not the main night out. That's because we broke him the previous night. They call him Boy Wonder, but the only thing to wonder about is if he's a man or not? Poor Alex, the pace was too much for those little legs. Hey, we all had a great time though, a good laugh, some sun, drinks, shots, sunbeds, wonder women bikinis, hand puppets, pole dancers, Norman Wisdom falling into bins, weird dancing, promotion girls and crap toasties. There was even a fella who genuinely looked like a cross between Bruce Forsthye and Alf Garnet. I couldn't get a photo of him though as I reckon he would've decked me with his trademark pose.
It was also entertaining to see that the Spanish like to name their shops after some of the British tourists in Ibiza though (see left). Andy B reckons they just sell sh*t, that's him having one on a sun lounger in my black vest.
A weekend of weather, conversations about the weather, media reporting the weather and experiencing the weather. For all those overseas readers who don't know or don't care, there has been an onslaught of snow, ice, thunder, lightning, hail stone, wind, and severe cold. I've seen cars facing the wrong way on motorways, traffic going nowhere, snowboarders on the coast and a fox walking through the streets. Yes an urban fox we also hear more about in the media, maybe on its way to take a chunk out of the cheek of a sleeping baby. Some foxes like the one on the right can't be bothered to use stairs so they take an escalator. Earlier it was seen with its legs crossed reading a novel upside down on the underground tube.
