Christmas at Phil's

Well celebrating Christmas in the sun on the beach is definitely an experience we should all try. What a great Christmas we (and Alan the Kangaroo) spent on Phillip Island in Australia. Staying in a cute little cottage 10 metres from the beach is a hell of a treat. It just means you don't have to have a wee in the sea because it's so quick to walk back to your Ozbog.

I was chef on Christmas day and I decided to do a stereotypical meal. Shrimps on the barbie with homemade sweet chilli dip and kangaroo steaks. Huge prawns the size of Alan the Kangaroo and his cousin cooked rare on the BBQ, served with sweet potato mash, roasted veg and a shallot sauce. It tasted of Christmas too, kangaroo steaks are really good, well worth a try.

I never knew how high a kangaroo could jump until I caught Alan the Kangaroo having an absolute wail of a time on the beach on the festive day. Look at the way he celebrated by launching himself in the air on the beach.

If Kate had an Oz garden would it be Kate's Bush?

Driving from New South Wales state to Vitoria state in Ozland was a real treat. The roads are clear and the scenery amazing so the sheer mileage didn't matter. Especially with in-car music from Men At Work and Crowded House. There's so many reminder signs on the road side to take a break from driving. Feeling drowsy, pullover. Microsleep kills. Tired eyes? Have a powernap. Personally I think it's dangerous to have a powernap while driving so I kept awake while we travelled from Eden to Lakes Entrance on the south east coast. We passed black trees from the worst bush fires from last year. It's hard to believe that the roads we travelled on were melting as people tried to escape.

Alan the Kangaroo really got into the swing of things at Lakes Entrance in Victoria. We stayed in a log cabin with Alan, along with the token BBQ, lots of bush and strange sounding animals outside. I still can't look anyone in the eye when they talk about the bush though. All those adjectives they use, like, thick black bush. It's just hard to keep a straight face.

Roo spotted having a beer

After driving along the east coast from Sydney we ended up at a place called Mollymook. What a great place to stay, right on the beach. Total contrast from the city life around Sydney, this was a chilled out place where a few surfers would gather. I managed a run along the long beach in total contrast to Tynemouth a few days before as you can see from the photos.

We caught Alan the Kangaroo having a beer by the pool overlooking the beach just after I'd put a few things on the Ozzie BBQ. He's so cool, his cape keeps him in the shade in the hot sun.

How's it going? (It's Ozzie for Areeet)

Sydney, Australia is an amazing city. It's got everything you want. City life, good weather, good food and loads of beautiful beaches a small ride away. We went along to the famous Bondi beach where they show off surfing and looking beautiful. I fitted into the latter category of course. Take a look at Alan the Kangaroo at Bondi beach just soaking up the atmosphere, he goes brown so quickly. He had sunburn so we put a cape round him.

With such an American influence on the culture, Sydney was mobbed by fans for Oprah Winfrey who was doing one of her pointless shows at the Sydney Opera House. They ruined the Harbour Bridge by putting a massive 'O' hanging from it and lighting it up. I think it was to represent the size of her stomach, to scale.

I now know why it's called a pelican crossing, I took this photo in Sydney at a Fish Market. A proper fish market with loads of choice from fresh lobsters to huge prawns. I bought a Barramandi and cooked it for the girls. They loved it, I loved it.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

A weekend of weather, conversations about the weather, media reporting the weather and experiencing the weather. For all those overseas readers who don't know or don't care, there has been an onslaught of snow, ice, thunder, lightning, hail stone, wind, and severe cold. I've seen cars facing the wrong way on motorways, traffic going nowhere, snowboarders on the coast and a fox walking through the streets. Yes an urban fox we also hear more about in the media, maybe on its way to take a chunk out of the cheek of a sleeping baby. Some foxes like the one on the right can't be bothered to use stairs so they take an escalator. Earlier it was seen with its legs crossed reading a novel upside down on the underground tube.

So, do you know what is unique about the title of this blog? It contains all 26 letters of the alphabet. A pangram.

The proof of fat & funny

The peoples' champion. Loved by all. Funny. Down to earth. Rotund. A master of his game. No it's not Colin, it's Peter Kay. We went to see him at the over sized Metro Arena venue for Tour That Doesn't Tour - Tour. I want to tell you all about it but don't want to spoil it. There's all new material and it's Peter at his best where he talks about normal everyday things we all relate to from dentists to technology like Sky+. He drops in a few of his old catchphrases just to remind you that bread is not just bread and cake can be made of cheese.

It's well worth waiting for the encore because it's absolutely inspired, bringing together jokes from the show and pure visual, musical genius he does so well. So this definitely proves the notion that a lot of fat people can be funny and not just to look at while they try and reach their other hand while clapping. Some of them at the show however could not stand up when it came to the long rapturous standing ovation for Peter.

Something in the sea water

I'm from that seaside town of South Shields. Not only does it have beautiful coastline, beaches and a small version of the Curry Mile but it also makes stars. Apart from myself, we recently added Joe McElderry to that list, the gay X-Factor winner. Not only that but even more recent was another Masterchef finalist who worked at the Littlehaven hotel right on the coast overlooking the piers. I say another Masterchef finalist because we already have one from 3 years ago who I know. It's David Hall.

Not many people know this but apart from Ridley Scott (the extremely famous and successful movie director), Sir Frank Williams (Formula 1 Manager), Catherine Cookson and the rising new comedienne I predicted would go far, Sarah Milican; South Shields is also the birthplace for Eric Idle. Yep, the funny all round entertainer made famous from Monty Python, Life of Brian. So if you come from South Shields, always look on the bright side of life and just wait for Simon Cowell or Michel Roux to say yes. Reality TV may bring more Sandancer stars...

Speaking of Masterchef, take a look at this funny take on the recent finalists.