Roo spotted having a beer

After driving along the east coast from Sydney we ended up at a place called Mollymook. What a great place to stay, right on the beach. Total contrast from the city life around Sydney, this was a chilled out place where a few surfers would gather. I managed a run along the long beach in total contrast to Tynemouth a few days before as you can see from the photos.

We caught Alan the Kangaroo having a beer by the pool overlooking the beach just after I'd put a few things on the Ozzie BBQ. He's so cool, his cape keeps him in the shade in the hot sun.

How's it going? (It's Ozzie for Areeet)

Sydney, Australia is an amazing city. It's got everything you want. City life, good weather, good food and loads of beautiful beaches a small ride away. We went along to the famous Bondi beach where they show off surfing and looking beautiful. I fitted into the latter category of course. Take a look at Alan the Kangaroo at Bondi beach just soaking up the atmosphere, he goes brown so quickly. He had sunburn so we put a cape round him.

With such an American influence on the culture, Sydney was mobbed by fans for Oprah Winfrey who was doing one of her pointless shows at the Sydney Opera House. They ruined the Harbour Bridge by putting a massive 'O' hanging from it and lighting it up. I think it was to represent the size of her stomach, to scale.

I now know why it's called a pelican crossing, I took this photo in Sydney at a Fish Market. A proper fish market with loads of choice from fresh lobsters to huge prawns. I bought a Barramandi and cooked it for the girls. They loved it, I loved it.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

A weekend of weather, conversations about the weather, media reporting the weather and experiencing the weather. For all those overseas readers who don't know or don't care, there has been an onslaught of snow, ice, thunder, lightning, hail stone, wind, and severe cold. I've seen cars facing the wrong way on motorways, traffic going nowhere, snowboarders on the coast and a fox walking through the streets. Yes an urban fox we also hear more about in the media, maybe on its way to take a chunk out of the cheek of a sleeping baby. Some foxes like the one on the right can't be bothered to use stairs so they take an escalator. Earlier it was seen with its legs crossed reading a novel upside down on the underground tube.

So, do you know what is unique about the title of this blog? It contains all 26 letters of the alphabet. A pangram.

The proof of fat & funny

The peoples' champion. Loved by all. Funny. Down to earth. Rotund. A master of his game. No it's not Colin, it's Peter Kay. We went to see him at the over sized Metro Arena venue for Tour That Doesn't Tour - Tour. I want to tell you all about it but don't want to spoil it. There's all new material and it's Peter at his best where he talks about normal everyday things we all relate to from dentists to technology like Sky+. He drops in a few of his old catchphrases just to remind you that bread is not just bread and cake can be made of cheese.

It's well worth waiting for the encore because it's absolutely inspired, bringing together jokes from the show and pure visual, musical genius he does so well. So this definitely proves the notion that a lot of fat people can be funny and not just to look at while they try and reach their other hand while clapping. Some of them at the show however could not stand up when it came to the long rapturous standing ovation for Peter.

Something in the sea water

I'm from that seaside town of South Shields. Not only does it have beautiful coastline, beaches and a small version of the Curry Mile but it also makes stars. Apart from myself, we recently added Joe McElderry to that list, the gay X-Factor winner. Not only that but even more recent was another Masterchef finalist who worked at the Littlehaven hotel right on the coast overlooking the piers. I say another Masterchef finalist because we already have one from 3 years ago who I know. It's David Hall.

Not many people know this but apart from Ridley Scott (the extremely famous and successful movie director), Sir Frank Williams (Formula 1 Manager), Catherine Cookson and the rising new comedienne I predicted would go far, Sarah Milican; South Shields is also the birthplace for Eric Idle. Yep, the funny all round entertainer made famous from Monty Python, Life of Brian. So if you come from South Shields, always look on the bright side of life and just wait for Simon Cowell or Michel Roux to say yes. Reality TV may bring more Sandancer stars...

Speaking of Masterchef, take a look at this funny take on the recent finalists.

Turkey before Xmas? That's not right.

Visiting Turkey some years ago with friends was a right laugh (you know who you are) but the place was poor and I thought I'd never go back. However, a celebration, a 40th birthday took us there the other week to Icmeler and it was great. There were 36 of us! We took up a third of the plane and had our own coach to and from the airport. For the first time we were lucky to have a great view from our large balcony.

The all-inclusive resort allowed us to sample beer, spirits and food all day. Think we got our money's worth. I nicknamed the restaurant the 'canteen of death' as you could literally eat yourself to death. Some larger individuals were giving it a right good go, I caught one singing while in the queue for the free nosh, like a kid in a sweetie shop I reckon.

The birthday night saw us all wear 'Dawny is 40' t-shirts to the surprise of the birthday girl (see photo) who'd spent £200 on a new dress to wear. She had to pull a t-shirt over it to join in. The Germans around us were pretty confused, I can't remember seeing any of them smile though apart from when they claimed their sunbeds. That's my brother in this photo too, not a German although he did used to speak German in his sleep when he was younger.

Now I just had to take a photo of this satellite dish I passed. I'm guessing they show gay porn or something on this channel. Uncanny that on the holiday to Turkey a number of years ago a man selling his wares on the beach would shout 'Arrrrrrsmeat'. There must be a link.

No Misses but a Missus

It was so good to see that the stag from the Ibiza stag 'do' turned up for his own wedding the other weekend along at Longhirst Hall. What a great venue Liz and Alex chose for their wedding day and what a brilliant day it ended up being. Daft sweets on every table, a ninja photographer, a nervous usher, garter flashes. Loved the Lemonheads playing 'Mrs Robinson' now that Liz is an official Robinson, the song was in my head all day anyway so it topped it off as the whole wedding party surrounded them on the dance floor. Before that they snogged the face off each other while we all stuck our 2 fingers up ;)

They'll just be back from a fancy honeymoon Australia-New Zealand-Fiji. Bet they're tanned, tired and skint but have lived the dream. Congratulations, keep the marriage real.