Get those jockeys off

It's not easy trying to win some money on the horses. I learnt that when I went to Gosforth Races at the weekend. Not one winner though, must be the jockey's fault. There was a weirdo standing next to me with his mates who insisted on telling me I had "sh*t on my shoe". Think he wanted me to cock my leg so he could make fun of my stance, didn't fall for it. My mate won on the last race so we made him pay for the taxi seen as we couldn't go on a horse. That reminds me, a few years ago I had a Xmas party at the racecourse. Like a cheeky drunk geordie I told this girl to meet me outside and we would go and steal a horse. I learnt some time later that she'd stood there most of the night waiting.....funny.