It's a Park, in the centre of things

I've never been bothered about a trip to Centre Parcs. It's got an expensive label, but when we were offered the chance to go on a family break there we said yes and went along to see if it is actually a park (with a c of course) in the centre. I can confirm that there is a park and it's more or less in the centre of Whinfelll Forest.


Once you have navigated through the complex road system and you haven't managed to end up lost, facing backwards inside your own car or on top of a cyclist you can be pleasantly surprised by the plush log cabins and the beauty of the forest.


In the place you will find a plethora of activities. The big ones like Go Ape, obstacle courses, scary rope things, zip wire craziness you need to book at least 25 years in advance. However the indoor and outdoor sports arena has all sorts of sporty things to get into such as badminton, tennis, table tennis, footy, golf, water sports and everything else you can think of. Great for kids. Great for fat families too, as they convince themselves they are on a healthy holiday.


The resident animals there must have a great time. There was a duck in the human swimming pool; clearly they're not arsed about their own lake, but who could blame them when there's such a great water slide. The red squirrels also show their little cute faces from time to time, I snapped this one going up a tree. Now when I say snapped. please don't be phoning the RSPCA, I didn't actually snap its neck or anything, I just took an innocent photo and it went on its way to crack some nuts or whatever they do. It got me thinking about those films made some time ago where the squirrels complete obstacle courses to get their nuts. Now I can't get the Mission Impossible music out my head...

Local stars of Tynemouth

I'm not a fan of famous people and would rather ridicule them unless they are fairly normal. Our young culture is now about looking and acting like a celebrity which doesn't put us in a good position for the future. I've posted about local famous people before and at least it's interesting to see who has 'made it' from around your streets. Some you might want to keep quiet about, like 'H' from Steps, or Jimmy Carr's accountant for instance. Imagine my surprise while sitting having a beer in our local village seeing these celebrities pottering around:-

Phil Mitchell returns to chef duties
 at The Vic

Chris Evans arrives in the village
 hoping to find another Virgin

Prince Philip asks what is wrong with
 lap dancing, then blames The Poles

This beautiful girl does a Predator
impression very well.
Predator then beats up wife.